Harry Potter WIM
by IAmMog
Summary: The story of Harry Potter, in a new way.
1. Harry Potter WIM

**WIM (Wizard Instant Messaging)**

**In WIM as well as what you type out, some of your thoughts will be sent as part of the message, as a result you may accidently end up sending a thought you did not want to send.**

**Who's who: (I will try to remember to update this when I use a new character or name, and if anyone has any ideas for WIM names please let me know.)**

**©Copyright. – Characters and Books Belong to J.K. Rowling**

**Sorry, I know this page is boring but the rest won't make much sense without it.**

* * *

Adrian Pucey

Alastor 'Madeye' Moody - EyeCanSeeYou - Chibibo from the young writers society

Albus Dumbledore - Bumblebee

Alice Longbottom

Alicia Spinnet

Amos Diggory

Angelina Johnson

Arabella Figg -

Aragog

Argus Filch

Arthur Weasley - Minister_My_Butt - Adela

Augusta 'Gran' Longbottom

Baby Harry

Bane

Bartemius 'Barty' Crouch Jr.

Bartemius Crouch Sr.

Bellatrix Lestrange

Bertha Jorkins

Bill Weasley

Blaise Zabini

Buckbeak

Cadwallader

Cedric Diggory

Charlie Weasley - Flaming-Hot - Adela

Cho Chang

Colin Creevey

Cormac McLaggen

Cornelius Fudge

Crabbe Sr.

Crookshanks

Dean Thomas

Dobby - Socks_FTW - The Jesseble from the young writers society

Dolores Umbridge

Draco Malfoy - BCosUrWorthIt

Dudley Dursley

Ernie Macmillan

Errol

Fang

Fawkes - Death_don't_matter

Fenrir Greyback - LuvBites666 - Adela

Filius Flitwick

Firenze

Fluffy

Frank Longbottom

Fred Weasley - George?

George Weasley - Fred?

Gilderoy Lockhart

Ginny Weasley

Godric Gryffindor

Goyle Sr.

Grawp

Gregory Goyle

Grindlewald

Griphook

Hannah Abbott

Harry Potter - WandaBoi - Adela

Helga Hufflepuff

Hedwig

Hermes

Hermione Granger - SPEW_rules

Horace Slughorn

James Potter

Justin Finch-Fletchly

Katie Bell

Kingsley Shacklebolt

Kreacher

Lavender Brown - I_Love_U_WonWon

Lee Jordan

Lily Potter

Lisa Turpin

Lord Vordemort /The Dark Lord

Lucius Malfoy - I_Heart_VoldyFanClub - Nina

Ludo Bagman

Luna Lovegood - NarglesAre2Blame - Areida from the young writers society

Marcus Flint

Marietta Edgecombe

Merpeople

Miles Bletchley

Millicent Bulstrode

Minerva McGonagall

Moaning Myrtle

Molly Weasley - XxxLockhartBabexxX - Adela

Montague

Mountain Troll

Mr. /Dr. Granger

Mr Ollivander

Mrs. /Dr. Granger

Mrs. Norris

Mundungus Fletcher

Nagini - SexySnake

Narissa Malfoy

Nearly Headless Nick - WhyOnlyNearly

Neville Longbottom

Nicolas Flamel - Age_ 666_And_Still_Hot

Norbert

Nymphadora Tonks

Oliver Wood

Padma Patil

Pansy Parkinson

Parvati Patil

Peeves the Poltergeist

Percy Weasley

Perkins

Peter Pettigrew - DanananananaRatman - Chibibo from the young writers society

Petunia Dursley

Pigwidgeon

Pomona Sprout

Poppy Pomfrey

Professor Binns

Professor Quirrell

Regulus Black

Remus Lupin - ThatTimeOfTheMonth - Gyrfalcon from the young writers society

Rita Sketa - DontBugMe - Chibibo from the young writers society

Rolanda Hooch

Romilda Vane

Ron Weasley

Rowena Ravenclaw

Rubeus Hagrid

Rufus Fudge

Salazar Slytherin

Scabbers - Not_Who_You_Think

Seamus Finnigan

Severus Snape - Surrounded_by_halfwits - Nina

Sirius Black - PadFoot

Stamford Jorkins

Sturgis Podmore

Susan Bones

Sybill Trelawney - Seerious - Chibibo from the young writers society

Theodore Nott

The Bloody Baron

The Grey Lady

The Fat Friar

The Sorting Hat

Tom Marvolo Riddle

Trevor

Vernon Dursley

Vincent Crabbe

Warrington

Wilhelmina Grubbly-Plank

Winky


	2. Draco wets the bed!

**A random story me and a friend wrote a while back – hope you enjoy it. Sorry I kind of lost interest with the main story, but hopefully I will get around to writing the next part soonish.**

**©Copyright. – Characters and Books Belong to J.K. Rowling**

**

* * *

**

**Draco wets the bed!**

-Harry Logged on-

-Draco logged on-

Harry: what are you doing on here?

Draco: what do you mean... potter?

Harry: i didn't even know you had a life… malfoy

Draco: …at least I don't use it to spread rumours and boast about my achievements.. unlike you, potter..

Harry: you can't talk... ferret face...

Draco: you didn't need to bring that up, potter! at least I don't cry in my sleep about cedwic!

Harry: well at least I don't dream about voldemort's nipples! malfoy

Draco: I DO NOT! at least I don't dream about ginny… ugh...

Harry: DON'T BRING GINNY INTO THIS!

Draco: tough! you brought up the ferret thing.

Harry: …!...YEAH COS I'M HARRY POTTER

Draco: AND I'M DRACO MALFOY! YOU THINK YOUR SO COOL, POTTER… BUT YOU'RE NOT! PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU COS YOU'RE THE BLOODY BOY WHO LIVED!

Harry: innit blud ;)

-I_Heart_VoldyFanClub logged on-

Harry: haha does malfoy need to be babysat by daddy :)

Draco: NO! NO I FUCKING DON'T! :

I_Heart_VoldyFanClub: Draco

Draco: shit

I_Heart_VoldyFanClub: Draco

Harry: aw how cute xx

Draco: shut up.. yes dad?

I_Heart_VoldyFanClub: Draco you were supposed to be in bed 15 minutes ago.

Draco: I'm not a little kid, dad! it's 8 o'clock FFS!

Harry: yes draco, and don't forget your huggies incase the dementors come to visit!

I_Heart_VoldyFanClub: Yes Draco. And remember Mr Snookums has had a swim in the wishy-washer. We don't want you to catch a cold.

Draco: DAD! STOP IT! =(

Harry: do you want me to tuck you in?

Draco: noo..! I'm fine! LEAVE ME ALONE!

I_Heart_VoldyFanClub: Okay… if you're sure but remember last time? Wetting the bed isn't pleasant, especially at you're age. You're nearly 20.

Draco: I'M 17 AND THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT!

Harry: are you sure your son wasn't dreaming about snape? ;)

Draco: HE'S MY GODFATHER! WHY WOULD I DREAM OF HIM?

I_Heart_VoldyFanClub: Don't worry Draco. It's perfectly natural to be in touch with your feminine side.

Draco: I AM NOT GAY!

Harry: you so are...

I_Heart_VoldyFanClub: Harry, did you know, that when my little Draco was born, his manly parts were so small, that for two and a half hours, we were convinced he was a girl. We named him Doreen.

Harry: aw! that's adorable!

Draco: Not… :'[

I_Heart_VoldyFanClub: Stop with your snivelling, Draco. Are you a man or not?

Draco: OF COURSE I FUCKING AM!

Harry: are you sure malfoy? do you need to check your panties?

-Draco is busy-

Harry: Has he gone to check?...

I_Heart_VoldyFanClub: ...

Harry: ha! he's completely bought it!

-I_Heart_VoldyFanClub changed his name to Ron-

Ron: hahahahahahahaha gaylord…

Harry: woo! Teamwork homie!

-Draco is back-

Draco: I KNEW IT!

Harry: SO... YOU ARE A GIRL!

Draco: NO

Ron: sure what ever you say doreen..

-Ron is busy-

Draco: just you wait, potter, just you wait...

Harry: for what?

Draco: HOW STUPID CAN YOU FUCKING GET?

Harry: o.. i see, you're waiting for your period and you want to share the special moment with me :)

Draco: NO! NO!


	3. Detention

Hi, Hope you Like it, also check out my friend reading this chapter out on .com/watch?v=4TG30t3dk3s

* * *

Detention

- Cedric logged on -

- Tom logged on -

Cedric: God I'm Sexy ;)

Tom: Ugh… Thank God I killed you

Cedric: I'm not dead tho :(

Tom: Yeah, but you soon will be!

Cedric: Atleast I have more girlfriends than u!

Tom: I don't need girlfriends

Cedric: … I sparkle…

Tom: I'm powerful…

Cedric: My wands bigger than yours.

Tom: Yeah, buts mine inescapable… =]

Cedric: I'm telling

Tom: What for?

- Surrounded_by_halfwits has been added to the conversation -

Surrounded_by_halfwits: what's going on here?

Cedric: Tom's being a twat… haha lol Tom the twat!

Tom: Hey! I'm telling my olderself! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

Cedric: *Pantiaspoopicus!*

Surrounded_by_halfwits: That is not even a real spell, Mr Diggory

- Tom is busy -

Cedric: haha, let's bitch :P

Surrounded_by_halfwits: I do not bitch, Mr Diggory… except about Potter

Cedric: … I like mirrors…

- Tom is back -

Tom: I am still here you know…

Cedric: Snape was bitching about u...

Surrounded_by_halfwits: I was doing no such thing, Mr Diggory, a weeks detention for the absurd suggestion.

Tom: Yeah right.

Cedric: I need to go do my hair ;)

Tom: Blahblahblah… that stuck up snob.

Surrounded_by_halfwits: Yes, I quite agree

Tom: And how dare he speak to me like that? Doesn't he know who I am? =)

Cedric: Ur mum

- Cedric is busy -

Surrounded_by_halfwits: Who's mother is Mr Diggory referring to?

Tom: YOURS!

Surrounded_by_halfwits: Well Mr Diggory has just earned himself another three weeks.

- Cedris is back -

Tom: HAHAHA beat that sparkle boy!

Tom:

Tom:

Tom: FUCK!

Cedric: ur mum :P

Surrounded_by_halfwits: Another three weeks Mr Diggory.

Tom: SHIT!

Cedric: wasup butterbum? xx

Surrounded_by_halfwits: Another two weeks Mr Diggory.

Tom: MY VOICE JUST BROKE!

Surrounded_by_halfwits: Congratulations.

Cedric: my cherry just popped...

Tom: ISOUNDLIKEAFUCKINGGIRL! and eww…

Cedric: heehee

Surrounded_by_halfwits: This is not an appropriate conversation for two wizards to be having.

Cedric: it hurts… :'(

- Cedric has logged out -

Tom: ...yes...BUT MY REPUTATION IS RUINED! HOW CAN I RULE THE WORLD WITH A GIRLY VOICE?

- Surrounded_by_halfwits has logged out -

Tom: Damn you Snape… Damn you… YOU'RE MEANT TO COMFORT ME!

- Tom has logged out -


	4. Tom Riddle Meets Voldemort

**©Copyright. – Characters and Books Belong to J.K. Rowling**

* * *

**Tom-Voldemort**

-Tom logged on-

-Voldemort logged on-

Voldemort: Hey!

Tom: Ugh...What do you want?

Voldemort: Nothing … nothing… just checking how far you are in life… anything you want to talk about?

Tom: No

Voldemort: Oh… Really? Nothing at all? :O

Tom: No

Voldemort: Ok… Boring!

Voldemort: ...

Voldemort: No juicy gossip?

Tom: No

Voldemort: God, you're boring… =P Up to anything?

Tom: Yes

Voldemort: Care to enlighten me?

Tom: No..

Voldemort: Please!

Tom: No...

Voldemort: Pretty Please?

Tom: Nothing

Voldemort: Oh… you lied? :O you said that you were doing something!

Tom: yeah.. Talking to you..

Voldemort: Ok you got me there kiddo!

Tom: Don't talk to me like that

Voldemort: Why not?

Tom: Well.. I might be you, but younger, but that doesn't mean you can treat me like a kid.

Voldemort: Why..?

Tom: BECAUSE YOU CAN'T

Voldemort: Oh...

Voldemort: So.. What's happened recently?

Tom: Not much, just avoiding dark arts detection… spying on girls… um… planning revenge...

Voldemort: Cool… wait… I can't remember spying on girls!

Tom: Things change, things change

Voldemort: Right… who are you planning revenge on?

Tom: That bloody stuck-up snobby sparkle boy..

Voldemort: Sparkle boy..? You mean Cedric?

Tom: Yes that 'I-love-myself' Cedric…

Voldemort: I'll kill him for you…

Voldemort: Wait…

Tom: What?

Voldemort: I already have!

Tom: Then how come is was in transfiguration this morning?

Voldemort: I dunno.. He's too good for a horcrux..

Tom: Vampire..?

Voldemort: Shit..

Tom: More of a glampire

Voldemort: Lol! Xx =P

Tom: Shut up

Voldemort: So, what he do to annoy you, anyway?

Tom: He made fun of me..

Voldemort: How..? =O

Tom: Said that I have no girlfriends.. And boasted about his wand size..

Voldemort: Did you say that yours is more powerful?

Tom: Yes...

Voldemort: Did it work?

Tom: Not really.. He also laughed at me…

Voldemort: Oh.. What for?

Tom: My voice broke..

Voldemort: Yeesh.. and?

Tom: I sound like a fucking girl! :O

Voldemort: Oh… =]

Tom: What..?

Voldemort: =]

Tom: What?

Voldemort: MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Tom: Shut up! Just shut up!

Voldemort: MAHAHAHA! I bet you're shreking at the screen! Like a girly meltdown!

Tom: STOP IT! JUST STOP IT!

Voldemort: Ok… hehehe

Tom: …

Voldemort: So…

Tom: What…?

Voldemort: Nothing,

Voldemort: …

Voldemort: I have to say, I was an idiot when I was younger…

Tom: WHAT?

Voldemort: I mean… so childish…

Tom: I AM NOT!

Voldemort: And really over reactive…

Tom: AM NOT! God! Will people just leave me alone?

Voldemort: Oh… and really, really weak...

Tom: YOU CAN BLODDY TALK, CAN'T YOU?

Voldemort: See! Over reactive and easy to piss off! =P

Tom: I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE TO YOURSELF?

Tom: NEVER PLANNED TO END UP ALL SNAKEY AND STUFF… DID YOU?

Voldemort: Well… you know…

Tom: I know what? Huh? Well what?

Tom: DON'T YOU DARE GO TO ME, THAT IT'S TO SCARE YOUR ENIMIES? JUST GET A LIFE!

Voldemort: I can't… I'm dead… ish.

Tom: Not so powerful now, are you

Voldemort: I'm still alive though

Tom: I DON'T CARE! I DON'T WANT TO END UP LIKE YOU! AND WITH THAT NAME! Voldemort… BOOORING!

Voldemort: That's not very nice… and it's an anagram.

Tom: I know, TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE, but seriously an anagram, are you going soft?

Voldemort: No kiddo...

Tom: God damn it, DON'T CALL ME THAT!

Voldemort: Haha pipsqueak, so easy to wind up! lol

Tom: …

Voldemort: Right.. I'm off. Lucius promised to give me a massage!

- Voldemort logged off -

Tom: Yuck

Tom: Lucius? The Death Eater? I thought he was gay…

- Tom logged off -


	5. Wolf Cub

- Wandaboi has logged on -

- Padfoot has logged -

WandaBoi: omg. gess wot? o_O

Padfoot: Is this going to take long? Only Desperate Housewives is on and Remus is making popcorn.

WandaBoi: ...umm...?

- luvBites666 has logged on -

luvBites666: Hey Ma sexy du poulet roti!

LuvBites666: he he =]

Padfoot: I can see this becoming irritating.

- ThatTimeOfTheMonth has logged on -

luvBites666: oh look, its the little wolfcub.

luvBites666: hello little wolfie, can you say hello too? Aaw, isn't he so sweet...

luvBites666: NOT! YOU TRAITOR!

ThatTimeOfMonth: I'M NO CUB and who's the f***ing traitor.

Padfoot: Leave Remus alone! He has chocolate!

WandaBoi: STFU EVERYONE! STOP TRYING TO STEAL MY MOMENT!

WandaBoi: IM HARRY FREAKIN POTTER! THE BOY WHO LLIIIIVEEEDD!

Padfoot: Just because you have a thunderstorm on your head doesn't make you better than me! I got out of Azkaban, wandless. Eat it you little shit.

WandaBoi: O well... misfits have thunderstorms and they is all cool as fuck so HA!

Padfoot: O you did not just say that.

ThatTimeOfTheMonth: popcorns ready.

WandaBoi: OH yes I did x)

LuvBites666: you, Lupin, are the traitor... your supposed to be WITH ME! NOT WITH THESE LOSERS!

luvBites666: WEREWOLVES UNITE...

LuvBites666: but noo... you had to be a good little cub, didn't you…

ThatTimeOfTheMonth: I'M NOT A TRAITOR

ThatTimeOfTheMonth: I didn't choose this shit life and I never betrayed anyone

Padfoot: Shut up, I've lost Harry's comment.

WandaBoi: … I WIN!

LuvBites666: Who CARES about that stupid little Potter… WHAT ABOUT ME? I'M THE ONE WHO PUTS UP WITH ALL THE 'bad-guy' SHIT!

Padfoot: Boohoo. I feel for you.

ThatTimeOfTheMonth: You choose to follow Voldy like a little puppy so thats your own fault.

LuvBites666: I did not CHOOSE to… I HAD to… that's what people think of me… I WANTED to work in a dance school… but did they let me? NO! I WAS TOO 'EVIL' … so I was FORCED, GODDAMIT FORCED to join Voldy…

WandaBoi: OMFG! U no I have super sexy hair that re grows… ''yes harry'' well GUESS WHAT? ''what harry?'' …

WandaBoi: …

ThatTimeOfTheMonth: OMG… Greyback in a leotard… such a sexy image.

Padfoot: … yo' … whipped it back and forth?

WandaBoi: yes… no but NO gess agen sirius…

Padfoot: Okay. 2 things. 1. Fuck off. And 2. Fuck off.

WandaBoi: ur such a party pooper

- WandaBoi is busy -

Padfoot: … so. Fenrir.

Padfoot: How are the haemorrhoids?

LuvBites666: hae...merroios…?

Padfoot: Yes. How are they? You can tell uncle Sirius.

LuvBites666: What? TELL ME WHAT THEY ARE, YOU, WANNABE WOLE!

- WandaBoi is Back -

ThatTimeOfTheMonth: Sirius the show is starting…

Padfoot: Right. I'm there. Later bitches.

- Padfoot has logged off -

WandaBoi: SIRIUS LIKES EATING MANKY TOE NAILS! =O

LuvBites666: SHUT UP, NO ONE CARES

WandaBoi: u obviously do… cos I'm Harry Potter! x(

LuvBites666: yeah, Harry Potter… the same one who fantasises about Voldy, eh?

WandaBoi: yea about how I KICK HIS SLIMEY ASS =P

LuvBites666: I read that as 'lick'

ThatTimeOfTheMonth: well I will leave you two to your Voldy dreams, I'm off to join Sirius.

- ThatTimeOfTheMonth has logged off -


End file.
